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Doctor Who Boot
News

Doctor’s Boots Not Dr Marten’s

In its haste to trumpet the arrival of the twelfth Time Lord, the BBC made a huge howler by attributing most of his items of clothing to the wrong manufacturer. As reported by The Chap in good faith, having sourced its information from the usually reliable diktats released by Auntie, the Doctor’s boots were believed to have been provided by Dr Marten. Now, following more detailed research by the Daily Telegraph (who had also reported the footwear inaccurately) it turns out that the Doctor’s black brogue boots, with a very similar sole to a Dr Marten, are in actual fact… Keep Reading

Peter Capaldi
News

New Doctor’s Outfit Revealed

The BBC has released the first picture of Peter Capaldi wearing the new Doctor’s costume. Capaldi’s outfit as the Twelfth Time Lord will consist of a dark blue Crombie coat with red lining, dark blue trousers, a white shirt and black Dr. Marten brogues. Lord only knows what costume designer Howard Burden was thinking when he came up with this ensemble, or what he was trying to convey. Mr. Capaldi looks like a naughty schoolboy halfway to being a skinhead, except his mum won’t let him shave his hair off and won’t let him have proper Dr Marten’s boots. There… Keep Reading

Jeremy Paxman
News

BBC Remains Beardless

Jeremy Paxman has once again caused ripples across the world’s beard wearing community by shaving off his beard, having set Newsnight viewers a-chattering last year when he returned to work from his hols, still wearing his lounging-about-in-the-Med facial plumage. Mr. Paxman is clearly enjoying the excitement caused by minor changes in his facial appearance (although his attempts to stop wearing a tie on live television broadcasts last year have quietly been forgotten about, not doubt after been hauled in front of the BBC politburo for such a crime against respectability). As these two before and after photographs show, it isn’t… Keep Reading

Sherlock Holmes
News

The Case of the Missing Overcoat

Despite being set in the modern age, the BBC’s current production of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories, Sherlock, has been just as fastidious on the costume front as period pieces were. Benedict Cumberbatch’s coat is the sole piece of costume retained for the character from the original 2009 pilot episode. The Belstaff ‘Milford’ Coat is made from pure Irish wool tweed, bonded with a sophisticated, ultra-light microporous film, to make it waterproof without altering the natural qualities of comfort and breathability. Detailed with distinctive red button holes, three Belstaff Milfords were originally purchased from the Belstaff store on Conduit Street,… Keep Reading

Malik Amir Mohammad Khan Afridi
News

Man Risks Death to Keep Moustache

A Pakistani man is determined to maintain his impressive lip weasel despite death threats from the Taliban. Malik Amir Mohammad Khan Afridi, a resident of the northwestern Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa province on the Afghan border, is currently in hiding with his moustache. Mr. Afridi’s face furniture originally measured 30 inches from tip to tip, easily making it a trophy-winning smasher in any other country. But a splinter group of the Taliban declared his moustache to be “un-Islamic” and demanded $500 a month in “protection money” if he didn’t shave it off. Mr. Afridi refused, and was promptly kidnapped and held hostage in… Keep Reading

Patrick Moore
News

Auntie to Axe the Sky at Night

Only a year after the death of Sir Patrick Moore (whose last interview was in The Chap), the BBC is seriously considering pulling The Sky at Night from the airwaves after 56 years on television. It could be as early as December this year when the lights are turned out on the monthly astronomy programme. Sir Patrick presented the show’s first episode on 24 April 1957, and went on to present a total of 721 episodes until his death on 9 December 2012. His final programme was posthumously broadcast on 7 January 2013. The BBC should be condemmed for axing… Keep Reading

Patricia Hammond
News

Neapolitan Nights

Neapolitan Nights – Patricia Hammond and Matt Redman 2013 Patricia Hammond, the silky-voiced singer often described as the Canadian Nightingale, familiar to readers of The Chap as the singer with headline act Albert Ball’s Flying Aces at the Grand Anarcho-Dandyist Ball last December, has recorded an exclusive track for The Chap, to coincide with her article in the current edition (69, June-July 2013) on her collection of vintage sheet music. Neapolitan Nights was the first piece of sheet music Miss Hammond purchased, and she recorded the track with musician Matt Redman, who did the arrangement and played classical guitar, acoustic… Keep Reading

Everest
News

Highest Recorded Reading of The Chap

A team of scientists working on Mount Everest has broken the world record for the highest altitude reading of The Chap. Dr. Martin, Dr. Hennis, Dr. Smedley, Dr. Vercueil, Dr. Couppis, Mr. Horscroft and Captain Carroll sent us this photograph of a reading of The Chap at South Base Camp in Nepal, at an altitude of 17,598 feet. The team are engaged in “a scientific endeavour of the utmost importance”. They claim, however, to value their leisure time and made the most of their spectacular high altitude by casually setting a world record for the highest reading of The Chap… Keep Reading

Chap Olympiad
News

Date Confirmed For Ninth Chap Olympiad

The long-anticipated announcement of the date of this year’s Chap Olympiad – which can now return to its original title of The Chap Olympics without risk of being hauled before the now non-existent British Olympic Committee – has come: Saturday 13th July in Bedford Square Gardens, London. This year’s incarnation of this stunning attempt by a lot of stuffed shirts to run around and jump up and down a bit will see the introduction of six brand-new events, all designed to test the mettle of the elegant of trouser, but not so elegant of sudden movement. The new events, which… Keep Reading

Charters and Caldicott
News

The Gentlemen Vanish

Hot on the heels of the Jimmy Saville scandal, writes Steve Pittard, the BBC has committed another dreadful faux pax, by axing Charters and Caldicott from their new production of The Lady Vanishes. In the original 1938 Hitchcock film, elderly rail traveller Miss Froy disappears, but the biggest mystery in this new production, due to air on BBC 1 on 17th March, is that so do Charters and Caldicott. Those splendid bumbling cricket obsessives, rushing back to England to see the last days of a Test match, were played by Basil Radford and Naunton Wayne. Stealing the show in the… Keep Reading

Simon Le Bon
News

Simon Le Bon Mo’

Former pop superstar and poster-boy for ageing teen-idols Simon Le Bon has taken the bold step of decorating his upper lip with a superb smasher. The erstwhile Duran Duran singer grew his lip weasel for Movember but then, with the approbation of his good lady wife, decided to keep it, realising that moustaches are for life, not just for November. Michael “Atters” Attree, moustachioed editor-at-large for The Chap, commented: “My oh my, how this cheesy 80s upper-lip Stilton has matured! Having recently injured his vocal chords, this Wild Boy has come back down to Planet Earth with a banging lip… Keep Reading

News

Abercrombie & Fitch’s Savile Row Plans Scuppered

American teen wear retailer Abercrombie & Fitch is facing further setbacks in its absurd attempt to open a children’s store on Savile Row. Their latest application to Westminster Council was described as “deeply flawed” by one council official. The sections of the plans objected to by the council centre around Abercrombie & Fitch wishing to make major structural changes to the Grade II-listed building they have bought at number 3 Savile Row. The company applied for permission to open a children’s store last year and was allowed to move into the building, which comes under a Special Policy Area order… Keep Reading

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