This month’s round-up of sartorial triumphs, near misses and disasters.
The 7th Earl of Sidcup
“In order to relieve a sudden and distinct thirst,” writes the 7th Earl of Sidcup, “we were taking a light libation at one of the West End’s older and less diligently maintained hostelries, when it became apparent that two snappily attired gents were admiring our tie. This photograph of the whippersnappers was craftily procured for your deft sartorial analysis, to educate and entertain our clique.”
Oh Well, at least students have stopped going around wearing traffic cones on their heads. Where they acquire jackets with four covered buttons and three pocket flaps, not to mention gloves decorated with chainsaws, rifles and spiderwebs is anyone’s guess, though pints of Stella Artois perhaps contains an indication of their shopping habits.
David Evington
“About to enjoy a proper lunch last Friday,” writes David Evington. “I can’t reveal which club I was in, as mobile devices are not permitted in the dining room.”
Yet they allow gentlemen to dine in tweeds, sir? So clearly not a proper club in Town. Nevertheless, you are perfectly dressed for a country club in the Home Counties, and your tribute to the late David Lynch in the form of an ‘Eraserhead’ haircut is also very touching.
Adrian Sensicle
“Please find enclosed a few snaps of me on a recent holiday on the Nile,” writes Adrian Sensicle, “visiting a historic site, on board the glorious Steam Ship Sudan and at the Winter Palace Hotel in Luxor.”
Sir, the phrase ‘long-suffering’ could not be summed up more accurately than your travelling companion’s expression. Presumably she had to inspect your tie knot umpteen times until you achieved the correct dimple. At least, however, you were gracious enough to co-ordinate your socks with her dress.
Mr and Mrs Annable
Mr. Sensicle would do well to observe how little a travelling companion should suffer when wed to a chap devoted to his clothing. Frank Annable’s good lady wife clearly holds more sartorial trophies than her husband – who, please take note Mr. Walker (below) – is wearing French cuffs, and a signet ring on his right hand, the sign of a true eccentric.
William Walker
William Walker’s attempts to cultivate an eccentric persona fall rather flat when one spots that the glass he is holding is empty, the cloth bookmarks on his (probably unread) leatherbound books have been too neatly displayed, and he belives that keeping CDs makes him somehow ‘quaint’ (this is the role that shellac 78s would play). But what makes this photograph so difficult to countenance is that Mr. Walker is not wearing a shirt with French cuffs.
Patrick Hopkinson
“Despite having read your fascinating periodical for some 15 years,” writes Patrick Hopkinson, “I have never submitted myself to your scrutiny. I believe that it is about time that I did so, although of course you may not share that opinion. Please find my photograph, taken by my wife Elaine in ‘our’ paddock at the Goodwood Motor Circuit during the Members’ Meeting.”
Sir, we have spent the equivalent of 15 years poring over your photograph, and can confidently say that everything is in order. Although it should be pointed out that mechanics in the Goodwood paddock generally wear blue overalls.
