“Inspired by the Olympiad,” writes Mark Skinner, “I have taken my first faltering forays in Chapdom. Any hints that I am heading in the right direction?”
Sir, you are standing far too close to a market stall selling T-shirts to be heading in the direction of Chapdom. A true Chap would steer well clear of such an establishment, especially one that sold a T-shirt bearing various styles of moustache.
Secondly, something has gone awry with the creasing in your hat and it needs urgent attention from a competent milliner. Lastly, someone seems to have crushed your horn-rimmed spectacles, rendering them a ridiculous and unappealing rectangular shape. This requires immediate attention from a competent optician.
my history teacher, top bloke