“Wondered if you’d ‘ave the time to assess the sartorial credentials of this dandy in the underworld,” writes London Boy Lou. “What could be more indicative of one’s immense chapability than writing about oneself in the third person, eh?” A decent command of the English language? However, we are actually impressed both by Mr. Boy Lou’s fashionably unhyphenated double barrelled surname and his dapper backstreet gangster ensemble that, for once, is nothing like a character from Peaky Blinders.
“I don’t know whether you would consider any submissions from Germany,” writes Andreas Mandrysch, “but we are earnestly doing our best to keep up with the civilized countries.” Sir, your trouser cuffs fall short of their destination, namely the surface of your shoes. Your chum also displays garter, but he is wearing plus fours so should be. Is he German too? Probably not.