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Chap Olympiad

Date Confirmed For Ninth Chap Olympiad

The long-anticipated announcement of the date of this year’s Chap Olympiad – which can now return to its original title of The Chap Olympics without risk of being hauled before the now non-existent British Olympic Committee – has come: Saturday 13th July in Bedford Square Gardens, London. This year’s incarnation of this stunning attempt by a lot of stuffed shirts to run around and jump up and down a bit will see the introduction of six brand-new events, all designed to test the mettle of the elegant of trouser, but not so elegant of sudden movement. The new events, which… Keep Reading

Charters and Caldicott

The Gentlemen Vanish

Hot on the heels of the Jimmy Saville scandal, writes Steve Pittard, the BBC has committed another dreadful faux pax, by axing Charters and Caldicott from their new production of The Lady Vanishes. In the original 1938 Hitchcock film, elderly rail traveller Miss Froy disappears, but the biggest mystery in this new production, due to air on BBC 1 on 17th March, is that so do Charters and Caldicott. Those splendid bumbling cricket obsessives, rushing back to England to see the last days of a Test match, were played by Basil Radford and Naunton Wayne. Stealing the show in the… Keep Reading

Simon Le Bon

Simon Le Bon Mo’

Former pop superstar and poster-boy for ageing teen-idols Simon Le Bon has taken the bold step of decorating his upper lip with a superb smasher. The erstwhile Duran Duran singer grew his lip weasel for Movember but then, with the approbation of his good lady wife, decided to keep it, realising that moustaches are for life, not just for November. Michael “Atters” Attree, moustachioed editor-at-large for The Chap, commented: “My oh my, how this cheesy 80s upper-lip Stilton has matured! Having recently injured his vocal chords, this Wild Boy has come back down to Planet Earth with a banging lip… Keep Reading


Abercrombie & Fitch’s Savile Row Plans Scuppered

American teen wear retailer Abercrombie & Fitch is facing further setbacks in its absurd attempt to open a children’s store on Savile Row. Their latest application to Westminster Council was described as “deeply flawed” by one council official. The sections of the plans objected to by the council centre around Abercrombie & Fitch wishing to make major structural changes to the Grade II-listed building they have bought at number 3 Savile Row. The company applied for permission to open a children’s store last year and was allowed to move into the building, which comes under a Special Policy Area order… Keep Reading

Prince Charles Tailor

Prince Charles’s First Visit to Tailor in 30 Years

The Prince of Wales has paid his first visit to his tailor for 30 years. Since becoming a client in 1982, the Prince has been measured and fitted at Clarence House by Mr. Hitchcock, Anderson & Sheppard’s chief cutter. The Prince likes to see Mr. Hitchcock soon after eight in the morning, “Then it’s not interrupting his day, as it were”. When trying on a half finished suit, he relies on the opinion of his valet as well as his own and that of his tailor. Just before Christmas, Prince Charles paid a personal visit to Anderson & Sheppard to… Keep Reading

Sir Patrick Moore

Rest in Space, Sir Patrick Moore

England’s best-loved and most eccentric astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, has died aged 89 at his home in Sussex. Much loved for his enthusiastic delivery and extra curricular activities, which included playing the xylophone, writing children’s stories and composing operas, Sir Patrick was involved with BBC television’s The Sky at Night for over 55 years, and its host for four decades. His colourful career began in the Second World War, when he lied about his age to join the RAF, serving first with Bomber Command and then rising to the rank of Flight Lieutenant. During the War his fiancee, Lorna, was… Keep Reading

David Cameron

Prime Minister Pops Out of Starched Shirt

At the Lord Mayor’s Banquet in the Guildhall in London, Prime Minister David Cameron got so carried away with his speech about the financial services industry that he popped all the studs on his boiled front shirt. “Yes, some utterly terrible mistakes were made and they need to be addressed properly so they can never happen again,” Cameron told his City audience, referring to the fact that financial services contributed an eighth of all government revenue during the recession. “But those who think the answer is just to trash the banks would end up trashing Britain. I say recognise the… Keep Reading

James Bond

James Bond Sorts Out Razor Prices

The soaring cost of modern cartridge-based shaving has been debated in the House of Commons. Three members of the DUP criticized the price of men’s razor blade cartridges in an Early Day Motion, stating that “the exorbitant increase in the retail price of men’s razor blade cartridges means that in three years the price has increased in some cases by almost 100%”. An eight-pack of razor cartridges currently retails for approximately £22, making the profit margin for some companies around 1,000 per cent. East Londonderry MP Gregory Campbell, South Antrim MP Willie McCrea and David Simpson have backed a Commons… Keep Reading

Barack and Mitt

White Waistcoat Divides a Nation

The U.S. Presidential election became a two-horse race, and eventually it was the two candidates’ approach to wearing white tie that swung the contest in Barack Obama’s favour. He and Mitt Romney were speeding neck and neck towards the finishing line, when one small but essential detail helped voters decide whom they wanted in the White House – the white-tie waistcoat levels of the two candidates for the presidency. In this photograph, taken at the annual Al Smith Memorial Dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel in New York, one can clearly see the difference between the Republican and Democrat approach to… Keep Reading

Salvatore Calabrese

World’s Most Expensive Cocktail

A cocktail maker has claimed to have set a new record for the most expensive cocktail in the world. Mixologist Salvatore Calabrese says “Salvatore’s Legacy”, made using ingredients dating back to before American independence and the French Revolution, will set you back a cool £5,500 per glass. Guinness World Records said it is investigating the claim, which would topple the record holder, a cocktail costing £3,766.52 served in a Dubai hotel. The attempt was made at Salvatore’s, Mr. Calabrese’s bar at the Playboy Club London, with a bar spokeswoman saying: “Earlier on today, legendary mixologist Salvatore Calabrese, also known as… Keep Reading

Eccentric Shopkeeper

The Great Eccentric Survey

Not many years ago, one could visit any town in Britain and be guaranteed to spot at least one eccentric, happily going about his or her business. Dress codes varied wildly, from brightly coloured mackintoshes, hats with feathers and wellington boots, to long flowing scarves, top hats and no shoes at all. A multitude of lapel badges and luxuriant facial plumage was more often than not to be observed. Sadly, sightings of such colourful characters are dwindling. Most British towns contain an endless parade of similarly, tidily dressed people, none of whom feel the urge to make themselves stand out.… Keep Reading

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