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Socks

Stockinged Feet

in The Chap Wears by

Like the idiot uncle or embarrassing aunt, one’s feet are not for public consumption. Uncovered, they dislodge any sense of dignity, and even on a good day can be mistaken for distended offal. Handsome fellows they are not. And yet, loitering at one’s southernmost extremity, these unsightly outgrowths are integral to a Chap’s upstanding and elegance. One cannot simply cheese-grate them from the scene without irretrievable consequences. Like the mule of yesteryear, they are necessary, yet unloved. Perhaps this is why they only get scraps from the sartorial table? When socks are mentioned as presents, it is done so in…

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