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Abercrombie
News

Abercrombie & Fitch Fight for the Right to Party

Abercrombie & Fitch’s plans to muscle in on the ancient elegance of Savile Row continue, despite The Chap’s spirited attempts to oust them on April 23rd this year. Westminster Council has not seen fit to place any objection to the American casual wear outlet’s plans to open a children’s store at number 3, Savile Row, but they have voiced concerns about how exciting the opening party should be. According to various news reports, Westminster Council will not be allowing Abercrombie & Fitch to host a “celebrity-filled opening party”. This strikes The Chap as an extremely vague proviso, since how is… Keep Reading

Prince Charles
News

Charles Maintains Princely Standards

The Prince of Wales is to host the inaugural London Men’s Fashion Collection at St James’s Palace, organised by the British Fashion Council. From George IV to Edward VIII, Princes of Wales have always devoted a good part of their lives to dressing well. Prince Charles holds the record of being the longest serving heir apparent in British history (the previous record, of 59 years, being held by his great-great-grandfather Edward VII). But he has shouldered all these years of scandal, divorce, chutney-producing and eco-idealism by always being dressed immaculately. The Prince Charles look, although based on very traditional and… Keep Reading

Chap Protest
News

The Siege of Savile Row

On the morning of St George’s Day, April 23rd, swathes of immaculately dressed chaps and chapettes gathered outside No. 3 Savile Row to demonstrate peacefully – but firmly – against Abercrombie & Fitch’s proposed plans to open a children’s store there. The protest began in earnest at 10:15am, when chumrades in arms marched around the corner to Abercrombie’s flagship store on Burlington Gardens, stabbing the air defiantly with home-made banners declaring “Give Three-Piece a Chance”. On the very steps of enemy HQ, Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer led the troops in song, chanting “All we are saying is, give three-piece… Keep Reading

Abercrombie
News

The Chap Launches Petition to Save Savile Row

In response to the appalling news about Abercrombie & Fitch proposing to open a children’s store on Savile Row, The Chap has decided to take a stand. We have created a Petition, targeted at Wesminster Council, which we will present to them when enough signatures have been collected. We urge you to sign – it takes about three seconds and by doing so, you will be contributing in no small part to preserving 200 years of bespoke tailoring tradition on Savile Row. A letter has also been written to London Mayor Boris Johnson, in the hope that he will understand… Keep Reading

Abercrombie
News

Savile Row Threatened by Invasion of the Hoodie Snatchers

Abercrombie & Fitch has lodged plans with Westminster Council to open a children’s store on Savile Row. With its flagship store currently situated at Burlington Gardens, the American retailer – which manufactures casual wear (including hoodies) for youths – is determined to plant its off-shoot brand Abercrombie Kids around the corner “in plain, spoilt-brat view” of London’s historically elegant British row. Surely this American superstore selling homogenous outsourced casual clothing would have a far more suitable home in, say, a dungeon hundreds of feet below Westminster? According to reports, neighbouring tailors are formally objecting to Westminster Council on the grounds… Keep Reading

Handshake
News

Olympic Sporstmen Warned Against Shaking Hands

British athletes have been warned against shaking hands with rivals and dignitaries at the London Olympics. The British Olympic Association (BOA) is concerned about illness damaging the host nation’s chances of success. “The greatest threat to performance is illness and possibly injury,” said BOA chief medical officer Ian McCurdie. “We are talking about minimising risk of illness. It is all about hand hygiene.” Around 10,000 sportsmen and women will take part in the Olympic Games, with British athletes set to share rooms, eating all their meals with competitors from more than 200 other competing nations. McCurdie added: “Being at an… Keep Reading

Burlesque
News

Burlesque Star Seeks Single Chap

Here at the Chap, we like to keep our monocled eyes peeled and our remarkably shapely ears open for unusual opportunities that might just change a chap’s life. And this is one of those rare and potentially frisky opportunities. This Wednesday, 22nd February, marks the launch of a vintage dating service called The Old Fashioned Dating Company, which creates pre-matched, pre-show events for modern people with old fashioned values. The events will be a throwback to 1930s courting. Old fashioned daters will receive a sealed dating card containing their dating selection for the evening. Each date will be at a… Keep Reading

Yeti
News

60-Year-Old Yeti Mystery Finally Solved

It’s the stuff of post-war comic books: a remote Himalayan monastery supposedly containing the hand of a yeti was discovered by explorer Peter Byrne in 1957. Byrne sent a runner over the border to India with a message for Tom Slick, the wealthy American Oilman with an interest in Cryptozoology, who returned instructions to retrieve said hand. However, the superstitious monks refused to part with their boney relic, insisting it would bring down a curse on their Pangboche Monastery. Determined, Slick met Byrne in London with primatologist Professor William Osman Hill, befittingly at a restaurant in Regent’s Park Zoo. The… Keep Reading

Royal Opera House
News

Royal Opera House Puts Polyester on Bill

The Chap has received an urgent missive from a staff member at The Royal Opera House. The victim, who wishes to remain anonymous, writes: “On February 1st my esteemed employer, The Royal Opera House, will adopt a new uniform for its front-of-house staff. This entirely vile uniform is composed of a grey M&S suit (lightweight polyester, £39), a white polyester cotton mix shirt (£9) and two utterly hideous ‘bespoke – designer’ polyester ties (0.4p).” Condemning its staff to further humiliation, the ties feature what can only be described as a tie dye floral pattern, while the standard M&S sizing of… Keep Reading

Martin Roth
News

Museum Director Sparks Neckwear Crisis

The first foreign director of the V&A museum, Professor Martin Roth, has publicly denounced the decline of neckties worn by British men, in an interview with Country Life magazine. The 57-year-old German professor and former general director of the Dresden State Art Collection bemoaned slipping sartorial standards in Britain, declaring “nobody seems to wear a tie in London any longer – only the security guards.” Supporting Prof. Roth’s communiqué, a recent survey discovered only 18 per cent of British office staff regularly wear a tie. Furthermore, when interviewed by The Telegraph, V&A staff commented “[Roth] is always impeccably dressed, never… Keep Reading

Croatia
News

Croatia Promotes Anti-Chap Legislation

It is a sad day indeed when a chap cannot recline post-stroll on a weather-wood bench and strike up his loyal briar. So when Mr. Gaute Hauglid-Formo from Norway alerted Chap HQ to this provocative sign banning pipe smoking in a scenic park on the island of Sipan – just off the Dubrovnik coast of Croatia – we respectfully lowered our Union Jack to half-mast. According to Mr. Hauglid-Formo, the sign is one of dozens erected throughout the public garden prohibiting puffing, as part of Croatia’s 2008 smoking ban. Meanwhile, as part of this ‘public ban’, smoking is still permitted… Keep Reading

Syrian President Bashar
News

Calls for “Basher” Assad to Step Down

Syrian President Bashar “Basher” al-Assad is facing growing calls from the international community to step down. According a mysterious local source known only as ‘Babu’, there is a general consensus of opinion that as-Assad should not be allowed to continue competing in the Movember moustache-growing competition, due to the puniness of his facial fuzz. Delegates from the Middle-Eastern wing of Movember, commenting from nearby Jordan (they are not allowed to visit Syria, even to raise money for charity) have warned that “the vice is tightening” around Mr. Assad. They pointed out that thousands of men all over the world have… Keep Reading

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